When do we feel the need to forgive? When we hold grievances against someone or ourselves. When a person fails to do what we expect of them, we resent them. Similarly, when we set a goal for our self and do not perform up to the required standard, we lose hope in ourselves or blame ourselves for not trying enough. Resentment, whether directed outwards or inwards, can be a leading cause of harm- individual and collective both. When we hold on to negative emotions, we destroy our self and cause pain to the one we hold these emotions against. Forgiveness is important for all of us and it must be practiced every day.
Harmony with Self
Self-harmony is crucial for the well-being of an individual. When the mind, heart and soul of individuals are in harmony, they will be better parents, sons/daughters, siblings, neighbors, citizens, etc. if you keep blaming yourself for something you did in the past, you won’t be able to move on. Humans are not made perfect. They are bound to make mistakes. Give yourself the margin of being a human.
Mitch Albom in “Tuesdays with Morrie” says, “Forgive yourself before you die. Then forgive others.” If you do not forgive yourself, that regret or guilt will go deep down into your unconscious. It will not disappear. It will reoccur over and over again and every time it does, you will feel low. It is unhealthy to cling to negative feelings such as resentment or anger against yourself. Do not be an enemy to yourself and try to let go.
A personality that has clashes within cannot be stable. Stability of minds eliminates relationship issues. If you cannot learn to forgive yourself by practicing alone, go to a counselor– someone who understands how to deal with such situations.
Forgiveness for Others
Why do you think the idea “God is forgiving” was shared with humanity? Because that is an example for all of us. If we forgive others, that means we have a godly heart. It is a holy thing to do- holy not in a religious sense alone; holy in a way that forgiving others is a very difficult task for humans and if they do it well, they will pass a test of humanity. They will reach one step ahead. One must let go of the negative energy from his body. If you hate a person, your mind will naturally think of ways to harm him or overthinking about negative things will make your mood bitter. A bitter mood can always have adverse effects on those who you love. Try to look for the positive things in a person. Every human is given a silver lining. Look for it and it will help you think positively about that person.
If you believe you or someone else committed an unforgivable crime and you cannot let it out of your mind under any circumstances, try consulting an expert. Counseling can help you get rid of such emotions. If you are unable to forgive yourself and that bothers you, visit an anxiety counselor. If the issue involves two people, a relationship therapist will help well.
