Times that Require Self-Compassion

Ryan Kerbs

May 14, 2020

Self-compassion means to treat yourself with warmth, care, love and understanding. When you do not blame or judge yourself for what you did wrong, it is self-compassion. There are multiple times when one feels the need of getting an anxiety therapy but if we show self-compassion at the needed times, we can live a happy life.

When someone is disappointed in you

You do not have to meet the standard set by others for you. You have a unique personality and therefore, you have your choices. Make decisions according to your choices and interests. Everyone cannot be a doctor or a pilot. Some people excel at these professions and some do not pass the test. Do not be too hard on yourself. Do not rely on someone else’s counseling for your aspirations.

The most common example, in this case, is when a child fails to be what his father wants him to be. If your parents always thought you would turn exactly into a person of their choice, it is their fault. Not yours. Do not feel bad. Be what your heart wants you to be. If you dreamt of pleasing your father by getting the job he chose for you and you did not get it, it is perfectly okay. Care for your mental health and think of other ways of making him happy.

AT THE RECOGNITION OF YOUR FLAWS

All humans are flawed. All make mistakes. One man cannot be good at everything. He has to suck at some things too. Only then will he be counted as a human. If you fancy painting and after much struggle realize that you can never be good at it, do not hate yourself. Try other things. I am sure you will be remarkable at something. So, keep exploring. If you do not like yourself because of your looks or feel low, see a depression counselor. Give yourself the care you deserve.

When you fail to achieve something

It is human to set goals for ourselves. We have inborn desires and passions. We dream to get things to satiate our inner desires. We set goals and start working hard to achieve them. If we fail to succeed, we lose confidence in ourselves. Don’t we? For a short while, we feel we are complete losers. If truth be told, this is the time when we need to practice self-compassion the most. We must encourage our self to stand up and try again. If the likelihood seems little, we should look for something we can do better instead of mourning over what was never ours.

After a fight with a loved one

Who does not face relationship issues? Every relationship has its ups and downs. The most likely time to feel low and disappointed in oneself is when someone close to you blames you for something. If you have a fight with your partner and he or she is angry, they might say something harsh about you. Do not blindly start believing they are right. Be soft on yourself. Maybe you did make a mistake but you can always improve. If fights are often, that means the relationship has problems; not you. Visit a relationship therapist instead of blaming yourself.

Self-compassion holds a very crucial role in everyone’s life. For the well-being of a person, it is necessary to treat oneself with gentle care and compassion.

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